Welcome 2015

I wish I could say I had some great epiphany that inspired today's blog. 
I didn't. No revelation. Just reflection.
Reflection as we end one year and begin another.
As a teacher, my "New Year's Eve" really feels like the  night before the first day of school- more of an August to August calendar. 
Even so, I still enjoy looking back, counting down, reminiscing over the past 365 days. I've never been one to really make resolutions. I never can keep them anyway.
So what is the point of this blog? Well, even as I type, I still don't know. 

But I do know this: I want to be different.

Yes, 2014 was a good year. Things I never imagined happened this past year, with the publishing of my book and being able to share Pruitt's story with so many. I pray that was only the beginning.

But there have also been hard moments of the past year. Big and little.
The loss of Jason's precious grandmother. 
Decisions. Disputes. Doctor appointments. Daily life.

It's the daily life that I want to be different. 
As I look back over the year, I ask myself what needs to change and why? Why am I unhappy in my job? Why do certain things bother me? Why is there a pang of discontentment hovering over me? How can I parent better? How can I be a better wife?

My considerations brought me to Galatians 5. 
16-18" My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?"

There it is: self-interest. Isn't that the main root in us all? Selfishness. Even as far back as in the garden, it was Adam and Eve's selfish desires that brought about their sin. But here, it says so plainly, we cannot live based on how we "feel" one day or the next. Boy, do I try though. And it never works out very well!

The selfishness gets us nowhere. Nothing on this list is appealing in the long run:
19-21 "It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on."

Some things that stand out are "mental and emotional garbage, trinket gods, never satisfied, divided homes." Paul could go on and so could I.
Yet, these are the things that war against us day after day.

So what is the answer?

22-23 "But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely."

This might sound more familiar: "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." Are you singing the song now?

It's often intrigued me that God starts that list with "love." But in light of 1 Corinthians 13, it shouldn't come as a surprise. The greatest of these is love.
Oh, and it's also the second greatest command, just after loving God first with all of ourselves.

This is what I want. And it begins with love.
Not some kind of hippie-peace-love makes the world go 'round love. That love is temporary, based on feelings.

But the love of Christ. Eternal love. That love should overflow out of me, and to others. When it doesn't, it's because I'm being selfish.
Colossians 3 speaks of this also:
So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective.

Resurrection life= Daily life.
It's a struggle. It's "insanity" as Ted Dekker would say. 

It's a race. 

I want to run it well. One day at a time, mercies new every morning. 
I'm so thankful for His faithfulness, because I've given Him plenty of reasons to leave me. But He never has, and He never will. 

Welcome 2015.