To That Child.......

To that child.....

The one that is full of energy and enthusiasm. I wish I could bottle it up and sell it- we would be rich together. Your zest and zeal for life knows no end. I'm sure when you fall asleep at night your body quietly says, "thank you." Your mama probably does too. Yes, it sometimes is exhausting. But when I catch the spark in your eye, and the smile on your face, I can't help but smile back and think of how you might change the world with that fervor. 
I envy you.

To that child....
That one that never talks. Sometimes I wonder why? Is it because you are simply shy? Reserved? A wallflower? A rule-follower, afraid of getting in trouble? Or is you mind so full of anxieties, lost in a world of its own? Maybe there's so much you have seen, yet you are too afraid to voice it, for you know then it becomes even more truth over your life. 
I wish you would talk to me, tell me all the reasons why. 
I am a great listener.

To that child....
The attention seeker. You are demanding of my every minute. You long to be seen, and will do whatever it takes for my eyes to be on you. If you had it your way, you'd probably be okay to be the only one in my class. You might be the star of your family, the entertainer, the show-stopper. Others like you may defy every "rule" in place, simply because you want to be noticed. Because maybe that's the only way you are noticed at home. It took me a long time to understand you, and even still, I don't. Why would you act out, knowing there are consequences? Yet, I've found myself in that same place before. Longing for attention, from someone that I can trust, who loves me. I relate to you.
You, too are a star. Shine bright!

To that child...
The one with baggage, too much baggage in your six years. I never know how you may respond to things. Sometimes you cry, sometimes you put up a wall. Sometimes you tell me about all that stuff you carry around, a burden that you don't even realize is heavy yet. Your tears may fall as I tell you I love you. Or you may just look at me, not sure if you can really believe me, for love looks strange to you- and others have failed you, those you thought loved you. Your world is unstable. You may not know where your next meal will come from. You may fall asleep in class because of what went on the night before. Or you may tell me you love me too, because you long for someone to be able to say that to, and know it's reciprocal. You don't have to carry those bags by yourself. 
I ache for you.

To that child...
The defiant one. I have wondered what happened? What took place that brought on so much anger inside you already? How have you felt wronged so much in your short life that you are ready to take on the world with fists flying? I try to see past the rage and resentment to a place deep inside you, a place crying out for help. You don't even know that you need help, but with me in your corner, maybe we can break through-bring you to a place where you can allow that same fight in you to be used for good. Then you really can take on the world. 
I have hope for you.

To that child...
The one with insecurities. You double check. You feel like you have to compete. You struggle. You think you can't succeed. You compare yourself to others, and fail to see the strength inside. Instead, you listen to the voices of the enemy spoken through other's tongues. You feel you have no purpose.
You hear Failure. Ugly. Poor. Inadequate. Dumb. I say you are Successful. Beautiful. Rich. Enough. A Genius. There is a plan for your life. Don't listen to the lies.
I have been you.

To all of you-
If I were being honest, you are what makes me want to quit some days. And yet, you are the very thing that won't let me. You are what keep me coming back. Not Math. Not Reading. Not the paycheck. Not summer break (although, I do like that part.)

Every year, the struggle is real over whether or not I'll be back the next August. 
Even tonight, I wonder this. How much longer can I do this? It is EXHAUSTING. I don't know how to be all things to all these little ones. 
But, I try. Sometimes I succeed, and many days I fail.


We will struggle together. We will fight together. We will be quiet together. I'll carry your burdens in my heart. We will strive to be stars- to shine brightly. And on days when the serpent of insecurity rears its ugly head in my own life, I'll remember that it's just a lie. I'll remember that I have a purpose. A purpose to point you to the True Star, the One that loves you, baggage and all, the One who knows the thoughts of your heart that you never voice; the One that has already taken on the world for you and won; The One that will dry all your tears, and is a Father to the fatherless. 

So, for this chapter, this year in your life called "First Grade," and this season in my life, you are my purpose.
You are why I'll be there tomorrow.