This is 40.

I can't sleep. This is 40? 
No. This is the 3:00 cup of coffee plus the 8:00 diet coke. And the fact that I've always been a night owl.
That hasn't changed.

As I lay in bed tonight, on what's left of my birthday, I thought back to turning 30. That one didn't bother me. This one......just sounds old.
I thought about the differences in once being 30 and now 40.

A four and one year old. That was 30.

Heaven help us- now a 14 and 11 year old. This is 40.

I was changing diapers, watching a lot of Blue's Clues. A new life was soon to be forming within me. Hormones- mine. A loving husband. A different state, a much colder birthday. A new friend that shared my birthday. A mini-van. Toby Mac and Faith Hill. Car seats. A VCR that was still hooked up- it played mostly Elmo, Ice Age, Toy Story. That was 30.

Now, iPads, iPods. A few PG-13 movies. A warm day in a different state. A closer drive to Mama's- better than 8 hours. Did I mention an 8th grader with a girlfriend? A sixth grader. Hormones- theirs and mine. Lecrae and Taylor Swift. New friends with same birthdays. Van long gone. This is 40.

Lightening McQueen and Dora the Explorer. Teaching preschool and then coming home to pre-schoolers. More diapers. Potty training. Making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches- a lot. They both had blonde hair, hers with a few curls. That was 30.

Driving their friends to and fro. He's in the youth group. She's about to be. I teach first grade. I come home to help with Algebra and Science homework. They make their own lunches. The both have brown hair, his with curls.
Developing study habits. Checking their text messages. Having to have "the talk". Did I mention hormones? This is 40.

Reading books to them, not much time to read what I wanted to. Late night TV- after they are asleep.
Me-short hair. Fewer wrinkles. Trying to adjust. 
My life falling apart. 
Planning the funeral of my baby. That was 30.

A coffee drinker. Published book. Finished reading 2 books over Thanksgiving break. Me-long hair. More wrinkles. Still trying to adjust. A loving husband. God bringing beauty from ashes. This is 40.

My life at 30 looked very different than it does today.  
Only ONE thing has stayed the same: the faithfulness of my Lord. I have strayed- at thirty and forty, and all in-between. 
But He has been faithful. His mercies have been new every day. 
I am so grateful for His providence, sovereignty, and protection over us, especially for the past 10 years. There is no doubt that His grace has been sufficient.

I live in the fact that it will continue to be. 
This is 40.

Run XC!

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." Hebrews 12:1-2

 We have recently become members of the XC family. XC stands for cross country, incase you didn't know. (I didn't!) 
With each race, I learn more: 
    > Evidently it's important to eat spaghetti a couple nights before a race. Carb loading helps give you the glycogen needed to produce extra energy. Experts say it can prevent you from "hitting the wall" in a race. Personally, I would hit the wall whether I ate noodles or not!

    > If someone touches you while you are running, you are eliminated.

    > Even as much as I LOVE my Saturday mornings, I look forward to race days now!

    > It feels like a little family.

    > Every week, the terrain looks different. Some races are hot, some are pleasant. 

Today as we were watching our varsity girls, I snapped this picture:

We were there, cheering them on. Some were calling out individual's names, yelling "You got this!! Go!! You can do it!"

As I was looking down the track, immediately I thought of the verse I posted above. 
"...we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses....." 

I wondered, "Is this kind of what it looks like from Heaven?- those great heroes of the faith, cheering us on. Moses, David, Job, the Woman at the Well, Zacchaeus, the once blind man, Paul. But then what about Grandmother, Grandaddy, Nanny, Granny, Mrs. Mary, Kim, Marla, Holly, Austin....the list could go on and on. All of them, cheering us on, telling us to not give up, you can do it.

As I read more about this passage, I see that we find encouragement from the testimony of those witnesses. Their faith is now made sight.

The writer of Hebrews says to "strip off that which easily entangles us."
In the races I've seen so far, it seems it never fails that someone loses a shoe, or both shoes. If it's tripping them up, they just leave them on the course. Some have removed a strap on their jersey -(is it called a jersey in XC? I'll have to check on that!) 

We are strongly encouraged to remove and throw off those things (sins) which trip us up. 
As we run the race, we can find strength in knowing those heroes are cheering for us, but more than that, Christ is with us.  Verse 3 continues by saying, "Consider the life of the One who endured such personal attacks and hostility from sinners so that you will not grow weary or lose heart."

We need encouragement as we run this race. In the XC races, you will find "cheerleaders" all along the way. We can find that through friends, through collective worship with fellow believers, through the God-inspired Scripture.

I have been so proud of Peyton since he started running. He has done well- but even so, I had a conversation with him recently which really can be summed up in part of those Hebrews verses: "..fix our eyes on Jesus."
XC is not eternal. Medals, PR's (personal records), trophies, T-shirts, whether you were first or last- none of it is going to matter in light of eternity. 

And we should all be running XC, across this country, in our towns and neighborhoods, encouraging others in the race, and helping others join the family. Carb-load on the Word of God! There will be sacrifices to make (just like giving up my Saturdays.)
Run with endurance the race- whether steep, hot, muddy or rocky-that is marked out for you!!

Your Roots Are Showing

     root

- 

noun

a part of the body of a plant that develops...... and grows downward into the soil, anchoring the plant and absorbing nutriment and moisture.

One thing I love about summer and take most of the responsibility for is      mowing. I love it more, now that we have a riding lawn mower!

Our yard has several trees, and has somewhat of a slope to it. 

I've noticed the past several times that I've mowed, more roots seem to appear, and are steadily rising their heads above ground. Of course, this is due to rain after rain. 

e·rode

 

verb (used with object), e·rod·ed, e·rod·ing.

1.

to eat into or away; destroy by slow consumption or disintegration

As storms sweep through over time, whether strong or mild, the dirt gradually erodes away, exposing those roots.

This is a problem for me as I mow; I fear running over one of them and ruining our lawn mower, for starters! I might get fired from my job if that happens!

So, I have to dodge the roots, making my job more difficult. Even with the push mower, I cannot just run over them. These roots are pretty strong!

While mowing a couple of weeks ago, it occurred to me that this is a picture of life when the storms come.

Storms are meant to expose our roots. Don't believe me? 

Trials and Temptations

James 1:2-4

New International Version 

^2-4 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

Not my words :)

As the rain falls, it sometimes erodes all that is around us. It tries to destroy and consume that which is comfortable to us. It can eat away at those things in our lives like our joy. 

Yet bursting through, our roots can show!

They can hinder Satan from doing the job that he tries to do. Yes, he may hit one with the blade of his lies, but when we are deeply rooted in the word, he cannot destroy us. 

I'm reminded of Psalms 1:1-3

 Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,
 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night.
 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—

    whatever they do prospers.

One version says like a tree "firmly planted." 

I know some people like this. The storms have ravaged their lives, eroding away what was "normal," and now they face a "new" normal. Yet, out of the mud and mire their roots burst forth. They are firmly planted, and their  roots of faith are evident. That's not to say it was easy or they never got scraped by the blades. But, through the storms, they have stood tall. (Psalms 40- He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.)

Oh, I pray my roots will always show!

(Speaking of, I've got to go hi-light my hair now.)

³ 

Rainbow Bright

I woke up this morning with no clue that I would drive through a storm today. It was a beautiful day in my neighborhood, sunny days, sweeping the clouds away......
My "plans" were interrupted when Jason's mom called that Presley was sick. Let me back up. This is "Camp Nana" week. "Camp Nana" is when the grandkids come to Nana's for "camp."
It's legit. There's a schedule. There's worship, recreation, crafts, snack, science (just added this year!), and of course free time. 
So, my four days of kid-free-ness ended when she called to tell me Presley was sick, running fever, throwing up, etc, etc. 

I looked at the weather radar (because I'm old like that) before I headed out of town to go get her, and I noticed some red and yellows on Tim Simpson's map. I was hoping it would miss the path I was traveling though.

As I approached Olive Branch, I saw a gray sky, spilt with a little break of lighter skies, but certain rain to the right. Then, the closer I got, the line of rain was evident as I could see where it wet the road I was traveling. As soon as I crossed the "line," the wipers went to the high setting, and my speed slowed to 35-40 mph, as I could hardly see the road. I nervously drove, with an 18 wheeler beside, maybe only a hundred or so yards before I could see a bright yellow circle shining through the gray. Then, before I knew it, I was stopped at a red light and it was only barely sprinkling. I thought to myself, as now the sun shone brightly ahead of me, "There's got to be a rainbow from that one." Driving on for about a half a mile or so, I glanced in my passengers side mirror, and there it was. As I approached another red light, I strained my neck to look out my window, and as I did, I saw the other end of the rainbow. I pulled over to take a picture.

I could see the whole thing, but couldn't get a good picture of it with my phone. 
The picture doesn't do it justice. It was so bright against the gray clouds.
I got back on the road, still going away from it, and thought about all the travelers heading in the opposite direction and what a sight they were seeing!

As I thought about these things, it of course made me think of storms we go through. 
I wasn't expecting a storm when I woke up this morning. Most of us don't expect those storms that come in our lives, either. 
As I approached it, the lighter area of sky I saw was where the sun was shining. Even as the clouds of tragedy, hurt and struggles seem to cover us sometimes, the Son is still there, still shining. 
Sometimes our storm gets so overwhelming, so intense, that we can't even see the road we're on, or the next step in front of us. Then, bursting through the darkness, the Son shines so brightly, making the way clear.

This next analogy is where the Lord spoke the loudest to me:

We can't see the rainbow until the sun (Son) hits our storm head-on. The sun has to come face to face with the rain in order for us to see the rainbow. 
I couldn't see the rainbow until I had passed through the storm, to the other side where the sun was shining. That rainbow was probably there while I was driving through that same storm; I just couldn't see it in the storm. 

Did I know the sun was there while driving in the downpour? Yes. 
Did I know the rain would eventually end? Yes.
Did I see the rainbow while driving in the downpour? No.

As I made my way out the other side of the storm, to sunny skies, it's very likely I might have never seen the rainbow, had I not been looking for it. 
I could've kept riding along, never looking back, and I would have missed it!!

But, yes, I knew I had been through a storm; yes, I knew the sun was shining on the other side, and I knew what that meant: there would be a rainbow.

And oh, how bright it was!! It's colors were vibrant against those gray clouds!

As I drove on, I thought about those travelers heading in the opposite direction as me. Even if I had not noticed the rainbow, they sure would have. I wonder how often we go through storms, and miss the rainbows; yet, others see us come out of a storm, and they share in the promises that could be ours, too, if we just look for them.

I look back over my storms. So many promises that I claim today are those that He made so brilliantly clear in the rainbows against the gray skies that were just barely behind me. 

As I was on the way back with Presley, I told her I had this idea for a blog and some of the little lessons I learned. 
She added, with fever and all, "You can't have a rainbow without rain."

How many rainbows have you missed seeing after your storms? Look for them!
They are probably there!

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Hebrews 10:23

Still itching...........

After a week of itching and self-medicating, I decided to go to the doctor today, on my Saturday, to get a shot. The rash had continued to spread, and I was ready to be over it!
As I sat in the waiting room, (for almost 3 hours), I caught on to some of the conversation going on. People who may or may not have known each other discussed ailments- child with cough, me with poison ivy, teen with an earache, teen with ongoing headache, baby with eye allergies, elderly with congestive heart failure. I saw people I knew and some I didn't. The different sickness' weren't a respecter of persons. All ages were represented.

It seems that we were all in there for similar reasons, though. Of course we were; we were at a doctor's office and we were all sick in some way. Some did not look sick or sound sick. With some, (like me with my rash) it was obvious.

Others, like me, decided it was necessary to do something about their problem. I had tried long enough to treat it myself.

It occurred to me that often in waiting rooms you might hear people talking about their sickness. Sometimes, it's more than we care to know. Still, it is not odd at all to overhear.

But when it comes to our "sin-sickness," we clam up. We don't want anyone knowing what's wrong with us. What would they think? Would they move seats in the "waiting room" of our life if they knew? 
We all find ourselves in those waiting rooms of life. People we know, and people we don't know all have something in common: sin sickness.

One lady I overheard talking about the congestive heart failure said, "I hate that disease."

I hate the sin disease too. It wreaks havoc on us. There's a CONSTANT struggle. Because of this disease, there is sickness, hurt, loss, pain, and consequences that are life altering.

When it's an "itch" we face, we try to treat it ourselves, coating it with a "topical ointment," when really we need a shot of the strong medicine to cure it.

For our sin-sickness, there is only one cure: Jesus Christ, and the grace He offers.

As I walked out the door after spending 3 hours and $146, I felt it had been a little costly to my Saturday, in more ways than one! I LOVE my Saturdays! I had to pay the money and time on my off day to get this treated.

As I reflected on that, I was reminded that it was also very costly for Jesus- more than 3 hours and $146. It cost Him His life, in order for us to receive His salvation and free gift of grace. 
He is the true Healer! 

I'm sure I will find it worth the cost and wait, when this poison ivy is cleared up much faster after having the shot, rather than trying to do it on my own.

Just the same, Jesus found us worth dying for in order for our sin-sickness to be healed!

The Itch

I couldn't keep myself cooped up this weekend with such beautiful weather. I decided to do a little pruning in our back, (way back) yard. It's actually not even our land, yet we mow it and tend to it........but that's another blog.
So, I was going to continue some pruning on our side of the neighbor's fence where Jason and Peyton left off. I really wasn't making a dent in it, but it was making me feel like I was accomplishing something, none the less. If you happened to have driven by, you would've noticed the very small pile of branches on the road!!

On Sunday, I realized that I had gotten into more than just tree branches and bushes. In the mix of what I was cutting was either poison ivy, or something that did not set well with my skin. A rash broke out rather quickly.
I noticed today that it had begun to spread, although I had been doing a good job of not "itching" it! I have a bunch of "huggers" in my class, but warned them that I'd have to give them pats on the backs or air hugs (any Suite Life of Zack and Cody catch that reference!)

Tonight I stopped to purchase some more medicine to lather on it, in hopes that it clears it up. However, after my bath, I guess the patches of the affected area had been agitated and the itching sensation was very strong.


I knew better. 
I knew it wasn't a good idea. 

Yet, I couldn't stop myself. I took a towel, (because at least I wasn't using my hands, so not to expose anymore skin, right?), and rubbed and rubbed. And boy, did it feel good. For a minute. Then it began to burn a little. And then it itched worse. So what did I do? I scratched some more.
Finally, I came to my senses, medicated both arms, and then reprimanded myself for making such a dumb decision. I know that now it is likely to spread. At the very least, it sure didn't help it heal.

Then I thought about other itches we have. 

The itch to speak the gossip. We know better. We know ahead of time what harm it can cause. No sooner than we've satisfied that first itch to tell it, do we find ourselves going to the next person to share the "prayer request" with, making excuses that at least we only told two people.

The itch from a lustful thought. Instead of taking the thought captive to the obedience of Christ, we entertain it. We go places in our minds that we would never go with our feet, justifying that it only took place in our minds.

The itch to watch that show or movie, knowing the content it will contain. Most of the time we know this just from the specific actors that star in it. Yet, we give in, claiming at least we watched it in the privacy of our own home.

There's the itch of sexual sins. It starts as that thought, which we entertained for awhile.  We find ourselves in that moment, where we do have time to realize that this is not a good idea. We know this is wrong, but we gratify the pleasure for the moment, and are left with pain, and yes, a greater temptation to continue- with the excuse that "everybody's doing it."

There's also the itch to take that drink, that puff, that drug, knowing that one will not be enough. Yet, also knowing the repercussions of what is to follow.

The itch to entertain the thoughts of jealousy and envy, which gives way to voicing those "opinions" of others.

The list goes on and on.......the itch, the temptation, the pull of the flesh and the spirit. And the threat that it will cause it to spread to other areas of my life.

Just tonight, I shared this analogy with Peyton, as he told me some of the things that "everybody" around him is doing.
Temptation is all around us. Much of the time, we are aware of it, and we are also aware of the consequence. And sometimes, just like I did tonight, we give in to it anyway, and scratch away. 

This says it pretty well:
1 Corinthians 10:11-13

 These are all warning markers—danger!—in our history books, written down so that we don’t repeat their mistakes. Our positions in the story are parallel—they at the beginning, we at the end—and we are just as capable of messing it up as they were. Don’t be so naive and self-confident. You’re not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it’s useless. Cultivate God-confidence.
 No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.

After I had scratched and scratched, I then put the medication on it. I had a way of escape prior to giving in, but I did not take it. Thankfully, I put the medicine on it, and hopefully that will begin to heal the rash.

Just because we can have the "Healer" of our sin wash over us does not mean we just sin anyway.
Paul speaks of this as well in Romans-
"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?  By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?"

I am dead to those sins......remember The Walking Dead blog?

I am thankful that He is faithful and just to forgive me when I do mess up- but I pray that I will take that way of escape next time- because I sure don't want this stuff to spread.

Scars

Have you ever noticed a scar on someone and you wanted to ask them what happened? How did they get it? Why is it that scars evoke our curiosity? Many scars are obvious. Others are covered, never to be revealed by onlookers. I dare say that most all of us have scars. My guess would be, even those super models and GQ guys harbor scars somewhere on their bodies. 
I spotted a scar on my thumb the other day, and couldn't quite recall how I got it. But just next door to it, on my pointer finger, I clearly remember getting that one. I was at my Granny's house, pushing a wooden swing with no one it it. The swing came back and hit my hand, scraping the skin away. Three more scars, from three different occasions, caused by my poor abilities of crossing barbed-wire fences as a child. A larger scar across my abdomen at the birth of each of my three children.  
Some you would have to look closely to find, or at least be really observant about it. I have a chicken pox scar on my lower left eyelid, where no lashes grow. I remember how I gained most of my scars.

With the scars of others, we probably would not ask how they received it. It might be much too personal of a question to ask. Some scars run deep. I've learned: the deeper the wound, the more visible the scar. Another thing I've learned: not all hurts leave a great scar, but if there is a scar, you know there was a great wound.

This is what Wikipedia told me about scars:

"Scars are areas of fibrous tissue that replace normal skin after injury. A scar results from the biological process of wound repair in the skin and other tissues of the body. Thus, scarring is a natural part of the healing process. With the exception of very minor lesions, every wound (accident, disease, or surgery), results in some degree of scarring."- Wikipedia

"Scarring is a natural part of the healing process."
Interesting.
It is only natural for a wound to heal. Skin doesn't stay gaped open, blood doesn't continue to pour out. The sign of a scar is a sign of healing.

I also learned from Wiki that scar tissue has collagen, just like the same tissue it is trying to replace. The only difference, is when it "re-forms," it does so in a different pattern, therefore leaving what we know as scars. 
When we've been impacted by a wound, by definition, a scar results as a sign of that injury, that hurt, that pain or disease that was removed from our bodies. It represents that, yes, I was hurt, and now a part of me looks different because of it.

When I look at the scars on my own body, the ones I remember most are the ones that were significant. 
When I think about the metaphorical scars in my life, a few stand out more than others. And those few have caused my life to "look" different than it did before the wound. 

Day by day, those you come into to contact with also bear scars. Some of those are evident, others are not. When you encounter them, remember your own scars, your pains, your wounds. You never know when someone you meet might have received their mark in the same manner that you did. 

I'm reminded of Jesus' scars, as He spoke to His disciples after His resurrection: 
Luke 24: 40-

"As he spoke, he held out his hands for them to see the marks of the nails, and showed them the wounds in his feet."

We know that because of His scars, we can find healing. 
"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

Physically, our scars are a sign of healing that takes place in our bodies.
Spiritually, we can be covered with scars and never fully healed. If you have a deep scar, let His wounds heal you. His scars represent the hope that you have of being restored, and when He does, you will look different than you did before. 

And others will see the Healer in your life, not the scar.

Late Night Cleaning

I can remember a night or two when I was around the age of 13 or 14, getting up after my parents had gone to bed. I wasn't trying to sneak out or anything; I would get back up to clean. I can remember like it was yesterday. I would move dishes ever so carefully, making sure I did not wake up my mama. I would sweep and mop to the fluorescent light above the sink. The kitchen was usually my main goal. We didn't have a working dishwasher, well, not electrically at least. My mama or I was usually the working dishwasher. So, I would mostly try to get the kitchen cleaned up, so she would be surprised when she awoke the next morning. I remember one occasion my cousin helping me; we did have an ulterior motive. I think we were wanting to go somewhere the next day!

Tonight, Jason left to go out of town, and the kids were finally asleep (I think.) Being the night owl that I usually am, I started my own late night cleaning. The fact that Jason is gone, combined with that cup of coffee I drank around 7:00, could mean I'm in for a long night! As I was trying not to make too much noise,  I was reminded of those nights as a teen. 

Then of course, the Lord began to speak to me. He REALLY seems to do that when I'm cleaning, in case you haven't noticed.

I was somewhat down this evening, and as Jason was leaving, he could tell. I really don't know why, I told him, other than the fact that I am just tired of myself. Sick and tired of feeling "sick and tired." 

As I began to look up Scriptures on being clean, these were some I found:

2 Peter 1:3-9- "His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.  Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins."

Another: Hebrews 10:22-23- " and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."

What is my point?

In the verses from 2 Peter, we are told that we have everything we need to live a life of godliness. It then gives us a list of characteristics to add to our lives: faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, affection and love.

The school year is drawing to an end; kids and teachers alike are ready for a break; rainy days mean no recess; how many of those characteristics are found in my life? Umm.......

When own children won't do what I tell them to; when I'm driving, in a rush, because I'm already running late after yelling at my own children and the stinking carline is backed up; Am I self-controlled? Loving? Godly? ...Ugh......

Then in the Hebrews verses, we are told that He has been faithful to forgive; we have been cleansed. I was also reminded of the verse that says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

So again, what is my point? 

Well, just as my late night "house cleaning" was taking place, God was saying I needed a late night "heart cleaning." 

I have made the statement lately that I didn't like who I was; my own lack of patience disgusts me, with my own kids and those babies I spend most of my time with everyday. I can list more if you'd like. (There is that verse that says confess your sins one to another!)

Pride, slander, jealousy, lust, slothfulness, disobedience.....I could go on.

As I was pulling in to school this morning, the lyrics on the radio were blaring,

"Let them see You in me....."

That is my prayer, but man, do I really screw that up. I don't know what others see in me, but much of the time, I know it's probably not Jesus. As I thought back to those "babies," precious children, who are precious in the sight of God, do they see Jesus in me? Do my co-workers? Does Peyton and Presley? Jason? The rest of my family?

I had to spend a little time asking God to cleanse my heart tonight. So many of those things I confessed to you, and more I confessed to Him. 

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 

Just as I have all the supplies necessary to spend the night cleaning up my house, He has given me and you EVERYTHING we need to live this godly life that He has called us to. 

It comes back to surrendering each day to Him, asking Him to walk with us. 

Back to those days as a teen, cleaning for my mama.........

I remember how excited I would be for her to wake up and be so surprised to find a clean kitchen.

However, I don't have to wait till morning for God to wake up and be surprised. He's already done the cleaning Himself. He just waited on me to ask Him to do it.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sin, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."