Deeper Waters

I have never seen anything as beautiful as this. Well, Glacier National Park in Montana is close!

I never thought that I would EVER see the Caribbean! I guess it's one of those things, that unless you've been there, you can't put into words. I'm sure many have seen waters like that- but it was my first time. I've only been to the beach twice (ok, three times, but I didn't really count Fort Walton Beach, when it was raining and seaweed everywhere!) I guess that does count though.

Daytona Beach was amazing last summer when we went to Student Life Camp, and I thought Orange Beach with the family was great- but this does not compare.

Water like you could not imagine.

Blues that are not in your 8 count Crayola box. As I was walking along the beach, just taking it all in, I thought about the different blues I was seeing. I was told that the colors differ according to the depth of the water, and the reefs that are there. As I thought about that, I thought about the depths of water I've been in at times.

I have to go back to Baby Pruitt with this analogy, but apply it where it relates to you.

Just after my 30th birthday, I would have NEVER imagined that I would be burying a child a few months later. Those were waters I'd only heard about, but never dreamed my feet would touch. Yes, I'd seen a few other "rough waters" but nothing like this.

As I stood on the shore sorrow, the waves of grace pulled me in. At first, just on the edge of the clear waters where I could still see my feet. I could have turned and ran back to the sands of comfort and familiarity, but tides of mercy and sovereignty were stronger, and they swept me out. There was no stopping its force. It was going to happen.

As I was carried out to sea, those on the shore could see that where I was going, the water was darker.

. . . . . . . .

Yet, as I thought of this while standing on the shore of the Caribbean last week, I thought about times such as this when we are taken to deeper waters. Many times, it is not by choice that

we are carried out. It is there that we can sink into His grace or we can fight it. I've done both.

As the water deepens, the color changes. As we go deeper in our walk with the Lord, our "color" changes to those around us. They can see a difference.

That has certainly not always been the case in my circumstance. There have been moments on this journey that I have gone into the deeper waters, and see a part of God I would have never seen before. I was there, in the depths, not just observing from afar.

At other times, I've stayed in the shallow, and been shallow myself- refusing to see what

gifts He had for me. You have to look to find them.

Even not so far out into the water are these gifts. As I was wading out, I looked down and saw what looked like a star. Sure enough, it was a starfish! Sitting on the shore, a urchin washed up. Yes, His grace is there at every turn. Yet, in the dark depths we see much of His glory that can ONLY be seen when we are there.

Walking by Faith

"Walking by Faith"

One of the first things Tim talked about one night was how he really had to walk by faith in trusting the Lord for direction for his ministry in the Dominican and Haiti.

As the week went on, I was reminded of how not only Tim has to do this, but that those living there were literally walking by faith.

I looked up the verse that quickly came to mind when he said those words that night. "For we walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Cor. 5:7

I then looked it up in the Message version. Verse 6 says,

"That's why we live with such good cheer. You won't see us

drooping our heads or dragging our feet."

This lady was singing at church that Sunday. We worshipped

with Haitians, Dominicans, and Americans- singing in three different languages. I couldn't help but think of the songs and verses that talk of all the nations praising the Lord.

The passage goes on to say, "Cramped conditions here don't get us down. They only remind us of the spacious living conditions ahead. It's what we trust in but don't yet see that keeps us going. Do you suppose a few ruts in the road or rocks in the path are going to stop us? When the time comes, we'll be plenty ready to exchange exile for homecoming."

As I reflected on the "walking by faith" part of this verse the next few days, and as I saw it lived out in the lives of those we were ministering to, I began to ask myself how much do I really "walk by faith?"

In the area we were in, they literally walked, in faith, hoping that they would be able to receive an education, get clean water, meet together at their church to worship the One in Whom they had placed their faith.

In my day in and day out life, do I walk by faith? I'd ashamedly have to answer no. I do not give much thought to the fact that I have water, food, a job. I sleep at night, knowing I won't get wet if it rains while I lay in a warm bed; I assume that some more money will be put the bank at the end of the month, that I have a car in which I can drive to my job each day; that I can flip a switch and have electricity; I can turn on a knob and have not only clean water, but hot water; that I have more than one pair of shoes and clothes that I can match to those shoes.

I do not walk by faith; instead, more often than not, I sit in presumption and disregard of the blessings God has so graciously given. I am spoiled to my little "luxuries" each day and take for granted those things that many in this world have never seen.

I can say I have had to "walk by faith" and recognized it as a form of that, only a few times in my life. Once in high school when our school burned, and we weren't sure where we'd go. Once when we quit our jobs, sold our house, moved in with Jason's parents, and waited for God to move us to Illinois. Of course, when Pruitt was born, the difficult circumstances, and when he died.

Even still, and I'm not making light at all of loss- trust me, I know- but even in those times, I still had so many grace gifts from God and physical provisions.

These do not have those things, and they face loss on top of it.

Bil Mar is the pastor of the church we went to; he lost his six year old son last year. He knows what it is to walk by faith. But his faith is his "substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." He wakes up each morning, not sure if the other 7 members of his family will even have anything to eat that day. He goes to bed at night with the other 7 members of his family, in one of those 12' by 20' houses.

My guess is that as he lays his head down, maybe on a pillow, maybe not, that he is reminded of the spacious living conditions that await him in Heaven, where he will see his son again- that is walking by faith.

Back to Reality

You hear the phrase "back to reality" or "back to the real world" after coming in from a much needed vacation or a time way from your normal way of life. As I was falling in bed around 1:30 am Sunday morning and then preparing that night to be at early duty Monday morning, I was thinking myself, "well, back to reality." As I did so, a little bit of conviction settled over my heart as I thought back to those faces and sights I'd seen the week before.

The reality that these sweet first graders count it a privilege to go to school, if their parents can pay the $1.25 a month for their tuition, walking there daily. If it rains, they can't go because their school is made of palm branch roofs and dirt floors. Some walk for an hour to attend school, where there are no computers, smart boards, manipulatives, lunches, playgrounds, bathrooms, water fountains, personal desks, centers, dry erase boards or libraries. Yet, they are attentive, respectful, and very disciplined and receive love from their teachers and principal.

The reality of this sweet little one, always smiling and singing "Alleluia!" and "Amen" when we'd sing "If you're happy and you know it, say amen!" The reality that she sees no race, ethnicity, or color but loves whole-heartedly whomever she meets.

The reality that this home is a shelter for 8 and is about the size of what we'd park our car in, but wouldn't be able to open the doors.

The reality that this father - as he bathes his baby, and who will live in that house - was so overcome with emotion over the fact that God would give him and his family the blessing of this home, that he could not even work one day. He was humbly overwhelmed with the grace and provision of the LORD.

The reality that this little one finally has access to pure water- water that is LIFE to them- but for now she must walk to the well to gather the water for her family to drink and cook with.

The reality that this is the kitchen of this dear, precious saint, and that everyday we were working, she and her friends graciously cooked for 3 hours to provide a hot meal for us. The reality that rice and beans are pretty much all they have to eat, even as delicious as it was, and that if they have that one meal a day, they count it as a blessing.

The reality that this is a home to many, and if it rains, they get wet; when it's night, it's completely dark; if they have to use the restroom, they have to walk outside to do so; it is probably one room, the floors are dirt, and if they have a mattress to sleep on, they count it a blessing.

No couches, TV's, tables, chairs, china cabinets, china, dressers, closets, mirrors, running water, dishwashers, washing machines, dryers, refrigerators, stoves.

The reality for this sweet 13 year old is that she is the one to take care of her siblings, balancing the role of sister, playmate and now "parent."

As I "come back to my reality" of a job, home, food, water and so much more, I can't help but feel humbled by this past week. From these realities, I have learned what true contentment looks like- what hope can look like in what appears to be hopeless situations. The reality is, that much of the world lives like this, yet we get so caught up on our "own little worlds," and never give thought to not just the blessings that we may have, but the ONE that gave those blessings. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all and process the week, let alone figure out what I'm supposed to do with it now.

One main point in a devotion one night that Tim shared with us, and that we forget, is that no matter the material need, the fact that some have nothing, some have everything, some have an abundance of wealth, food, cars- some live on the streets, some are the rich and famous, but ALL OF US NEED JESUS. And that is REALITY.

"God, I pray I'd never take for granted my need for You, and I'd always see it as a need to share with others."

Have I been in the Son?

So, I've been tanning. I know......I can hear my mama fussing at me now. My reason: so I don't get cooked in Haiti! So, I'm trying to get a little color- (Hey, one of my kids at school did say I looked like Jennifer Hudson!)

But today, after getting back from "tanning" and while on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor- (I get inspiration in odd places!), I was thinking about this tanning thing.

If you didn't know, you might think I had been to the beach. I wish! Ok, well I'm not that tan yet, but just go with the illustration......

It looks like I've been in the sun, a little, at least. But, it's "fake" tan. No, not the orange kind. That kind of fake is easy to spot. Been there, done that too!

But, it's just enough to seem real.

It got me to thinking about my life and attitudes. Maybe there are times that it would appear I have been in the SON. Maybe it appears I have it together......but inside I know that I really haven't been- I've just been "pretending" like I have. I'll just pretend that during that quick 15 minutes in a tanning bed that I'm really in a lounge chair, soaking up the rays on a beach somewhere. But, I know better.

How many times is this so true in my spiritual life? I just pretend that that quick glance at a little devotion automatically makes me walk in step with the Spirit, but I don't take the time to meditate on it or let it change me. Or that sentence prayer that I manage to throw up to the Lord as I fall asleep- not quite the "effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man." Even more so, when I go through my day, knowing that I claim to be a Christian yet say things or think things that do not bear witness of that fact at that moment. What about on the way to church, walking out the door yelling at my kids and walking in the door of the Lord's house with a painted smile on my face? How often is this also true of our marriages or friendships? Is it a fake? Maybe I've not really been with the SON like I know I should have.

Oh, I pray I would remember this every time I see the sunshine! I want to be real! I pray I find myself spending more time in His light rather than trying to do it own my own.